View Full Version : The life of Mew (aka me)

11-24-2012, 09:10 PM
Hey guys since my last story didn't work out as good as I hoped, I'm going to try to get my good writing image back!
Mew does speak in human language. That's how my story goes.

"Ugh,worst sleep ever," I had said in discomfort. looking at the sunrise, which had taken my mind off the sleepless night I had before.
"Hey,Mew! How are you? Still trying to take down Evil, I see" said my best buddy, Victini.
"Well Vic, I'm taking time off to play. Come on lets go to the park!"

the park

"Lets go down the slide," Vic had said, in that happy upbeat mood that she was in.
"Do we have to? I wanna go on he swings!" I had said, whilst flying up to the top.
"Weeeeeeeee!" said Vic, sliding down the slide.
"Oh boy. I hate slides, but here goes...AHHHHHHHHH! I'M AS SCARED AS A LONE PIKACHU TAKING ON THE WORLD" I was screaming on the way down.

It was my Pokemon mobile.
"Oh,Vic, it's urgent" I said.
"Don't go please" said Vic, begging me. It was obvious she had feelings for me.
"I have to teleport to the base. See ya later!"

I then teleported to the base...

So Leave comments on how to improve! Until next time Yours Awesomely Torhick01!

11-24-2012, 11:06 PM
Hmmm...it may have potential. The beginning isn't too appealing to me, but I'll read on to see how it unfolds

11-26-2012, 06:55 PM
2nd part :

As I teleported to the base, I knew what was going on. It was Darkrai planning his revenge attack on the town of Cours.

"Master Mew, we have eyes on the enemy. The type he has sent is... ice; but we have a sneaky feeling that might be a decoy for water types, any commands?" one of my lab Ratatattas said.

"Yes. Send in the fire and grass squardren in!" I said with enthusiasm.


After I had sent my troops away, I had time to play on a game called "Pokemon." I put my little feet up and had a play. When my troops came back, it was good news. We had thought right. So I said to the lab rat, who gave me the info, "good work I will give you a pay raise."

"Mew! its Vic" said my long friend Pikachu; but i tell you more about him in a bit.
"Send her in," I said happily.
"Hey, Mew. I've been thinking. Maybe we should...you know..." she said nervously.
"Know what?" I said, wondering what on earth she was on about.
"Well, I think we should...GO OUT!!! There, I said it. Happy now?"

Well thats all my noggin can take so be ready for part 2 coming to a laptop or computer near You!
Enjoyed it want to have sneak peeks well i shall be opening up a new group soon so feel free to join!

11-26-2012, 08:16 PM
You take criticism well?

11-26-2012, 08:27 PM
You take criticism well?
not really

11-27-2012, 12:57 AM
not really

I'll sit this one out, then.

11-27-2012, 06:58 PM
I'll sit this one out, then.

ENJOY THE NEXT PART WHEN i get my brain working lol

11-28-2012, 07:42 PM
ENJOY THE NEXT PART WHEN i get my brain working lol

Oh. I won't be reading. You enjoy yourself.

11-28-2012, 08:17 PM
I'm very confused with this story

The Kiwi Dragon
11-28-2012, 09:10 PM
As am I, I'm afraid...

11-29-2012, 05:04 PM

11-29-2012, 06:02 PM
okay not bothered and if u dont have something nice to say dont say it

11-29-2012, 07:06 PM
Unless you can revise this thing, I don't suggest writing any more.

Maybe ask a friend with a sense in grammar and plot to write it for you?

Not being mean. Giving legitimate advice.

11-30-2012, 12:56 AM
I fixed most of the spelling and grammer that I could. The story makes more sense now