View Full Version : Illusions of dream

01-21-2013, 08:47 AM
(This Story all takes place 6 years ahead of the anime/games)

The night was clear and the sky was dark with the exception of the stars which still speckled the sky when the moon refused to show it’s face. A horde of dark types congregated around the clearing in the deepest recesses of Pinwheel Forest that they kept as sacred ground. In the center of the clearing sat an enormous stump on which stood a young Zorua next to the elder Darkrai. A line of Mightyena which sat lined up behind them let loose a symphony of howls signaling for the start of the ceremony.

The elder looked deep in the young Zorua’s eyes before speaking. “years ago you came to us as a young kit along with your wounded brother Loki, since then you have become one with our pack and as such have lived by our traditions. However young Reynard you are no longer a mere child and it is now time for you to fallow our most sacred of rights, the coming of age. At this point in our lives us dark types venture forth on a quest to find our selves and our place on this earth, however it is only you who can decide what this quest must be not I. so now I ask that you speak and inform us of how you plan to go about this journey of your and why you have chosen said path.”

Reynard took a deep breath carefully thinking over the choice he had made last night before he finally spoke to the crowd. “As many of you know Me and my brother Loki are not truly related, we were orphaned by a band of humans by the name of team plasma who had captured us and our mothers for genetic testing ; neither of our mothers survived and Loki barely escaped with his life. Due to this incident
My bother has never trusted humans again and I have been weary of them myself as well, however I can’t bring my self to believe that they are all as vile monsters as team plasma was, and thus to complete the tradition of the quest for the coming of age ceremony I have chosen a to fallow a very similar tradition followed by humans when they come of age, I have decided to use my Skills in illusion to make my self human and become a trainer!”

There was a loud gasp from the crowd followed by panicked whispering and shock
“No doubt Rey’s illusions are the best, practically being a transformation unless he falls asleep but it’s so risky”
“Ya the only rival he has in that field is his brother but still can he really do something like that”
“There’s no way the elder would let him do something so reckless!”
The whispering grew louder and louder as utter disbelief spread throughout the crowd

The elder sat thinking deeply about the speech young Reynard had just given then waved his hand silencing the whispers of the onlookers. “I have heard your request and though no one else may see it I see the nobility in your quest. You wish not to fear the humans for the deeds of a few but wish to see from their eyes and live among them to learn the truth about humans. Rather than shunning them you want to understand them and for that you have my blessing tomorrow you shall set out on your quest to be a Pokémon trainer.”

The reception that followed was abuzz with talk about Rey’s quest and many where skeptical about his chances. Rey sat in the corner munching on a Oran Berry with his friends who wouldn’t stop pestering him bout his dissection. His old friend Ana sat to his right, her long black horn glistened in the fire’s light and her white coat seemed orange in it’s glow to his left sat lance, his one red ear looking almost like a feather on his head and his sharp claws carefully carving at a peace of wood.
“You really shouldn’t do this Rey it’s going to end badly I just know it”
“Ana you worry to much even if you are an Absol I just can’t quit because you tell me to”
Ana let out a deep sigh at hearing this then spoke once more in a solemn voice
“Look you better come back to us some day got that, your our family and we can’t just lose you because you want to be reckless, you hear me”
The Sneasel that sat carving his little piece of wood finally looked up at his best friend “Look bud I aint gona to try and stop ya Rey but at least take this, it’s a gift from me and Ana here”
With out another word the sleek black Pokémon wrapped a necklace around Rey’s neck and latched it a wooden pendent hung against his chest, it resembled a Sableye head with two shards for eyes.
Finally regaining her composure Ana began to explain “the eyes on that sable eye are two very valuable items on is a shard from a dread plate and the other is a shard from a spooky plate, together they up the power of dark and ghost type moves. Promise us you’ll where it on your journey . . .” for the first time all night Rey realized he would be leaving his friends for a long time and just how much he would miss them, he felt his eyes begin to water but quickly blinked it away as not to have his friends notice. “Thank you two I’ll where it everyday . . .” a few moments of silence passed before Rey spoke once more “Hay hve you two seen Loki, I wanted to tell him goodbye before I left for Nuvema town tomorrow.” they both shook there heads as elder Darkrie approached them with a concerned look.

01-21-2013, 08:07 PM
The story is good. It's very original and actually interesting. The only real error is your spelling/grammar. You consistently spelled words like "witch" wrong. It should've been "which" since we aren't talking about a spell casting witch but a location based which. I looked at every word you spelled wrong and it doesn't seem that it was so much an accident but it appears that you just didn't seem to know which word to put in certain places or you seem to believe that the spelling of those words are accurate. I'd take my time and proofread it over slowly for the next chapters so things don't come off so erred. Many people won't remain interested if you can't take the time to proofread it. Other than that noticeable issue, this was a good tale. I'd actually read more. It sounds like it could develop into something pretty cool if it is handled the right way.

01-22-2013, 08:21 AM
hay guys just finished the next chapter and looking at my first post i realized how long that was so from now on you can just click these links to read them
Chapter 1: Ceremony of Age- http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8931021/1/Illusions-of-a-Dream
Chapter 2: A Rough Start- http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8931021/2/Illusions-of-a-Dream