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Thread: Ongoing story

  1. PokeBay Stats: Trades: 6 | Offers: 18 | Wishlist Items: 1 | Wishlist Offers: 5 | Battles: 0 | Battle Requests: 0

    Ongoing story

    This is my unfinished story. Any critiscism is accepted. However, I am just a 7th grader, so don't blame me if my story is bad or what.

    Epilogue
    “Damn! My head hurts so much! But I got to run, no matter what, before they find me.” said Lanwond. “I’m screwed if I don’t find a way to get out of here! But it is so dark here, I can’t see a damn thing!” said Landwond. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!” screamed Lanwond.
    Chapter 1- The story begins
    Ring….Ring….Ring….Ring….. “What?” said Lanwond, in a sleepy voice? “Where am I? Oww! My head is ringing like crazy! Damn it! I’m bleeding. I better get away from here” said Lanwond. He inspected his surroundings and made a final conclusion. He was in a pit. “Help anyone?!” he screamed. He saw a boy walking towards the pit. “What on earth are you doing in a pit trap?” he said. “What are YOU doing here? It’s dangerous here and dangerous creatures are everywhere.” said Lanwond. “You want me to help you or not?” said the boy. Lanwond shook his head and the boy rescued him.
    “Thank you for helping me. By the way, what is your name, boy?” said Lanwond. The boy replied “I am Josh and I have no family left.” “What do you mean by no family left?” asked Lanwond. “The Jagun virus took everyone except me. They turned into zombies after they were infected with the virus.” Said Josh. “Jagun virus!” thought Lanwond. “I heard it before. Scientists created a gas vaccine called “E345EO”, which was supposedly to cure cancer and SARS. At first, the vaccine was okay, and did not act strange. But the people who were test on with the vaccine, died and turned into zombies. They investigated what happened and learned that the gas vaccine was a pathogen that can mutate a live cell into a zombie.” “So what are you doing here?” asked Lanwond. “I was trying to find something to eat, so I created a pit and I check it every day to see if there is any bait.” replied Josh.
    “Since you don’t have anywhere to go, how about you stay with me?” asked Lanwond. “Sure, after all, there is nowhere else to go.” Replied Josh. Both of them walked for a while to find a place to stay, when they found an abandoned refugee. “Let’s stay here” said Lanwond. “Maybe we need to clean it a bit, it’s so dirty!” “AAAAAAAAAAAA…..HACHOOO” sneezed Josh. “Keep quiet, damn it, or the zombies will find us. “Sorry, Mr.Lanwond. I try to be quiet next time.” said Josh. But it was too late!

    Lanwond said “Damn! It’s the zombies! It’s your entire fault Josh! I told you to shut your mouth up but you won’t. Next time I will just leave you here with the zombies!” Josh started to cry. “Now what?” though Lanwond. “We have to flee before we are zombies! Damn, I hope Josh is light as a feather.” Lanwond and Josh started to escape from the abandoned refugee. “It was so close, Mr. Lanwond!” “Yeah, and it’s your fault! If you can just shut your trap, we won’t be here!” “Wahhhhhhh! Mr.Lanwond, you are so mean!” Josh ran away from Lanwond.

    Chapter 2-Finding Josh

    “That stupid boy!” said Lanwond. “Now I got to find him, and it is so damn dark. And there are so many damn zombies everywhere. Dang it, I wish that I just left him in the abandoned refugee!” “Josh! Oh Josh! Come out, come out wherever you are!” A noise can be heard. “Braiinnnnnnns! Brainnnnnssss!” “Oh damn it! Zombies are here! They overheard me! Who knows how many of them heard?” thought Lanwond. “I got to find a hiding spot before I’m screwed.”
    He thought “There! I found a good hiding spot! I better move fast!” Lanwond had hidden in a bush for a long period of time. “I wonder where is everyone? Are they all dead or what?” though Lanwond. “Brains….Brain….. Brai…..” Lanwond came out of the bush when he cannot hear the voice anymore. “Where is Josh anyway?” Lanwond could hear a voice. “Mr.Lanwond, I am here!” Lanwond spotted John and said “Thank god I found you. I just saw a group of zombies just now.” “HeeeHeeHee” said Josh. Lanwond said “Josh? What happened to you? Why is there a bite on your – oh damn it, the zombies found you! Oh god darn it, I have to kill Josh!” Josh found a weapon and used it on Josh. “No one with me…I feel so lonely….Anyone?” said Lanwond. “Sob…”

    Chapter 3 – All alone – Or is it?
    Before Lanwond decided to hang and kill himself, a phone call can be heard. “Professor Oak speaking!” “Prof. Oak! I am so glad to hear you! (Except most of the time I am not, because you yak on and on.) Where are you?” “I am in a hidden refugee, somewhere in Amber town. I will tell you where it is. Make sure you are not followed by zombies.”
    Lanwond traveled to Amber town, by flying on his Pidgeoteo. When he arrived, many zombies were gathering in the center of the town. “Shoot! Professor Oak is under there. Hope they are all right.” Lanwond had to think of a distraction to be able to go in the refugee. “I choose you, bird!” Lanwond instructed the bird to make loud noises and create a chase. And the bird swiftly obeyed. “Kruuuuu! Krruuuuuuu” (Translation: “Come and get me, you suckers! You fatso lame-o, stupid idiot!”)
    As zombies have chased the bird, Lanwond quickly open the passage and close it. “Hello Lanwond, I hope you had no trouble finding us.” “Uhhh, yeah?” “Whatever, it doesn’t matter anyway. How about greet some of the people here? “Hi, I’m Red” “My name is Blue” “My name is Ruby” In unison, they all said “Brother! It’s that you?” The four of them took a while to realize that they were siblings, as the four of them lose their memories a bit. The Kajun virus separated each other, and the earthquake causes them to have memory loss.
    Professor Oak, clueless as usual, asked about their family relationship. He found out that they were siblings from young, but when the Kajun virus became an epidemic, they all move in separated directions and due to fault lines in their continent, AmberGron, an earthquake occurred, with the magnitude of 9.9. Oddly, people were not harmed at all. It has seem that they were teleported by a mysterious man.
    “Back to the main topic,” said Oak “Let’s talk about the cure for the zombie virus.” Lanwond, sounding surprised, said “You guys found a cure?!” Professor Oak, disappointed, said “Nope, not yet. We need a sample of that virus, which is located in a lab near the refugee.” Lanwond, scared, said “No, you mean the source of infection? You want to kill us?!” Professor Oak “Better die doing something than doing nothing, right?” “Sigh, you don’t get it don’t you Prof?” “Whatever. Let’s go, guys.”

    Chapter 4-Finding the virus
    “Oh man, what happened here?” asked Red. The lab was now destroyed. Beakers and test tube are leaking chemicals that who knows what. Many electrical lines in the lab have fallen down. Blood is everywhere and body parts were scattered around. Many dead bodies can be seen, bitten in various spots, supposedly by zombies. A bloody handwriting was seen, and it read “Help! Virus in room C-3 has gone viral! We don’t have any mask! Help!!! S.O.S!”
    “Well, better find a mask before we become zombies,” said Lanwond. He and his brothers were exploring the large lab. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” screamed Red. “Shush!” said the three brothers. They all wanted to hurry and get out of the lab before they were zombie food. They finally reached room C-3 and quickly searched for the virus.
    “SARS, swine flu, H7N9, H1N1, Malaria, common flu, small pox, chicken pox...Aha! The Kajun virus!” said Lanwond. “Let’s get out of here,” the three other brothers stated. Lanwond shouted “There is an exit! Let’s go there!” All of them ran quickly to the exit and traveled to the base.
    Chapter 5-Backstabbers
    “Oh, I see you all are back. Have you got the virus?” asked Professor Oak. “You care about the virus more than us?” screamed Red. Red was now furious. “Sorry,” was all the professor could say. “Here is the virus. Do you think that you can find a cure?” asked Lanwond. “Maybe, I’m not sure yet,” replied the professor. “How about you guys take a walk?” said Oak.
    “Sure, professor,” replied Lanwond. The four brothers went outside for a walk. They had to be careful to be out of a zombie’s sight though. When they were far away from the abandoned refugee, the three brothers act strangely. “Wha..Wha..What are you guys doing?” Lanwond asked nervously. “Heeheheheeehehe” Red, Blue, Ruby replied. The three of them took knives from their pockets and repeatedly stab Lanwond. Blood came out of his shirt and he died.
    When the professor finished his cure, he called everybody, in their pokewatches. When they receive the news, they quickly ran to the lab. “You must die now Professor.” Said the three brothers. They all had a bloody knife, and organs can still be seen sticking in it. “Boys…What are you doing?” said Oak, nervously. The professor was stabbed and they took the cure. They were actually not Lanwond’s brothers, but they were just mere clones. They were the ones who cause the zombie plague. The Kajun virus was not the cause of the zombie plague, but the Kajun virus was just a tool for them. They had infected the Kajun virus (or the cure), with the virus that turns living things to zombies.
    Without anyone left, will the fate of the earth be saved? See in the next chapter.
    Last edited by Eric Cartman; 10-23-2013 at 01:17 PM.
    No kitty! That's my potpie! Bad kitty! -Mom! Kitty is being a _____
    Respect my Authoritay!
    http://www.pokebay.com/forums/showth...-Ongoing-story. Have a nice traitor!

  2. PokeBay Stats: Trades: 3 | Offers: 3 | Wishlist Items: 4 | Wishlist Offers: 2 | Battles: 0 | Battle Requests: 0
    There is a little to much 'Said Lanwond' in it. For the rest quite interesting story.
    'Heaven knows where i'll end up - but it's a safe bet that i'll be never at the top of anything. Nor do i particularly care to be.' ~H. P. Lovecraft

  3. PokeBay Stats: Trades: 6 | Offers: 18 | Wishlist Items: 1 | Wishlist Offers: 5 | Battles: 0 | Battle Requests: 0
    If you guys want more of this, please say so. I am free for 1 week. I can create the story.
    No kitty! That's my potpie! Bad kitty! -Mom! Kitty is being a _____
    Respect my Authoritay!
    http://www.pokebay.com/forums/showth...-Ongoing-story. Have a nice traitor!

  4. PokeBay Stats: Trades: 28 | Offers: 93 | Wishlist Items: 24 | Wishlist Offers: 12 | Battles: 0 | Battle Requests: 0
    woah good job

  5. PokeBay Stats: Trades: 6 | Offers: 18 | Wishlist Items: 1 | Wishlist Offers: 5 | Battles: 0 | Battle Requests: 0
    If you want to see more story like this, please state. I can create one also if you request so.
    No kitty! That's my potpie! Bad kitty! -Mom! Kitty is being a _____
    Respect my Authoritay!
    http://www.pokebay.com/forums/showth...-Ongoing-story. Have a nice traitor!

  6. PokeBay Stats: Trades: 0 | Offers: 3 | Wishlist Items: 0 | Wishlist Offers: 0 | Battles: 0 | Battle Requests: 0
    Woooah,nice!
    I am the beast of the pokemon world! BECOME SWALLOWED BY A SEA OF FLAME!




  7. PokeBay Stats: Trades: 6 | Offers: 18 | Wishlist Items: 1 | Wishlist Offers: 5 | Battles: 0 | Battle Requests: 0
    If you can, please give a rating and comments.
    No kitty! That's my potpie! Bad kitty! -Mom! Kitty is being a _____
    Respect my Authoritay!
    http://www.pokebay.com/forums/showth...-Ongoing-story. Have a nice traitor!

  8. PokeBay Stats: Trades: 1 | Offers: 8 | Wishlist Items: 20 | Wishlist Offers: 0 | Battles: 0 | Battle Requests: 0
    this is pretty cool and an interesting way of writing it. i think you should keep going but what does this have to do with pokemon? it does have a LOT of dialog. other than that, its sucks me in!!! i love books that do that! epically the Warrior books that are written by Erin Hunter. SHE IS MY GOD!
    Hold my beer and watch this!

  9. PokeBay Stats: Trades: 6 | Offers: 18 | Wishlist Items: 1 | Wishlist Offers: 5 | Battles: 0 | Battle Requests: 0
    Hey guys, one of my school works is to give back to the society and I think that selling this kind of stories is a good fund-raising activity. Should I sell stories to raise funds? Or should I not?
    No kitty! That's my potpie! Bad kitty! -Mom! Kitty is being a _____
    Respect my Authoritay!
    http://www.pokebay.com/forums/showth...-Ongoing-story. Have a nice traitor!

  10. PokeBay Stats: Trades: 6 | Offers: 18 | Wishlist Items: 1 | Wishlist Offers: 5 | Battles: 0 | Battle Requests: 0
    And P.S, I believe that I will focus on other non-pokemon related plots more.
    No kitty! That's my potpie! Bad kitty! -Mom! Kitty is being a _____
    Respect my Authoritay!
    http://www.pokebay.com/forums/showth...-Ongoing-story. Have a nice traitor!

  11. PokeBay Stats: Trades: 6 | Offers: 18 | Wishlist Items: 1 | Wishlist Offers: 5 | Battles: 0 | Battle Requests: 0
    Thanks for the comments. Appreciated it
    No kitty! That's my potpie! Bad kitty! -Mom! Kitty is being a _____
    Respect my Authoritay!
    http://www.pokebay.com/forums/showth...-Ongoing-story. Have a nice traitor!

  12. PokeBay Stats: Trades: 11 | Offers: 4 | Wishlist Items: 5 | Wishlist Offers: 3 | Battles: 0 | Battle Requests: 0
    Wow, that's really good ^^ it's better than what I could do I am only an 8th grader by the way, please keep on righting
    A day making you happy is a day making you wise

  13. PokeBay Stats: Trades: 6 | Offers: 18 | Wishlist Items: 1 | Wishlist Offers: 5 | Battles: 0 | Battle Requests: 0
    This is a sneak peak of my story. You got to wait until November or December for everything to come out. planning to sell for charity. :3 Pls understand.
    No kitty! That's my potpie! Bad kitty! -Mom! Kitty is being a _____
    Respect my Authoritay!
    http://www.pokebay.com/forums/showth...-Ongoing-story. Have a nice traitor!

  14. PokeBay Stats: Trades: 6 | Offers: 18 | Wishlist Items: 1 | Wishlist Offers: 5 | Battles: 0 | Battle Requests: 0
    Anybody got a problem with that?
    No kitty! That's my potpie! Bad kitty! -Mom! Kitty is being a _____
    Respect my Authoritay!
    http://www.pokebay.com/forums/showth...-Ongoing-story. Have a nice traitor!

  15. PokeBay Stats: Trades: 6 | Offers: 18 | Wishlist Items: 1 | Wishlist Offers: 5 | Battles: 0 | Battle Requests: 0
    P.S., do you think that the chapters are too short?
    No kitty! That's my potpie! Bad kitty! -Mom! Kitty is being a _____
    Respect my Authoritay!
    http://www.pokebay.com/forums/showth...-Ongoing-story. Have a nice traitor!

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